I know that it has been a really long time since I wrote something on this blog. I understand this little community I’ve built here gets let down every time I disappear for a long period of time. I now realise that it’s like a garden that needs to be tended to in order to blossom ans survive, so here I am re-committing to my blog, and to you guys my readers. Whether you are a friend of mine, an nosy person, know me through somebody else, found this blog by accident or are just interested in my life I’m dedicating a little bit of time every week to write here and be honest about what motherhood is really like.
So, without anymore emotional jabber, lets get under way!
I’m 2 months 5 days into this motherhood thing and I have to honestly say It hasn’t been what I expected it to be. For this post I am just going to talk about our first month with Danny. In some ways it’s a lot easier than I ever anticipated. I’m not sure if that’s because everyone scared me and I set my expectations so far into the fear zone or because I have a really beautiful and (I say this with trepidation…) easy baby. It’s a stark contrast from my pregnancy with Danny, which was filled with challenges.
I truley believe it’s because of his start in life, that Danny is such a happy and thriving baby. Matt and I chose to go out to my parents farm for the first two weeks after I gave birth. It was a relatively easy decision to make because we knew how helpful my parents and my brother would be in those first early days. There was no hustle and bustle of city life out there, no noise but the cows mooing in the morning and the cicadas chirping in the summer heat. Dinner was made for us every night and often every other meal was too. It was so easy to give Danny to one of his grandparents to hold while Matt and I had naps or got to spend time together, playing like teenagers in love in the pool. The community midwives would travel out, removing the need for us to travel anywhere. They would have a cup of tea with us and tell us how well we were doing, and it was just the encouragement we would need if we were ever unsure about anything. We didn’t have to worry about being bombarded with visitors and tending to them when what we really needed was to bond with our baby and enjoy his littleness while we could. We all created this atmosphere for Danny to thrive in, and to help his transition from being on the inside, to the ideal environment on the outside. It was the most perfect two weeks of my entire life and I couldn’t believe the high I was on.
I was warned about experiencing some down moments in the days after his birth, called the baby blues. It’s an overwhelming feeling of uncontrollable emotions and its due to hormones leveling out after pregnancy ends. This transition from the third to the fourth trimester has many “negative” symptoms, such as exhaustion, emotions, pain and discomfort, headaches, nausea and I tell you what… it is not easy. I’m lucky to not have experienced a real bout of baby blues in the days after having Danny, and again I think that is due to the environment we were in. I was really cushioned with support and love from not only Danny’s other parent but his other family who were so willing and able to hold us underneath their wings. That’s not to say since coming home to Palmerston North I haven’t felt those feelings because in the past 4 weeks I certainly have.
Because Matt and I live with two other people its been a real challenge to find our footing becoming a family of three and adjusting to becoming parents rather than just being a couple, and when I say challenge I mean it! We came home to two schedules going on ahead in our home while trying to navigate the schedule of Danny. Because any parent will know, there is absolutely no routine when it comes to a two week old! We were incredibly lucky to have a baby who would sleep for a solid 3-4 hours at a time at night, feed and them go back to sleep for the same time. We felt rested and ready to go, but we also had to be mindful of the noise Danny would make to be considerate of the people who shared our home with us and that was even with a baby that slept well.
So for us, it hasn’t been the most traditional start, but it has been the best. It’s had its challenges but right now I can honestly say I wouldn’t change anything even if I could.
Ill be back soon to talk about our second month! So come back here soon, becauase I promise I WILL write more