Yeah I know… if your surprised, imagine how I was feeling.
-Hey guys, I’m just going to back track here a little from where I left you last, so bare with me if you feel like the timeline is a little out of whack.
Prior to making the decision to go through with the pregnancy, after taking a home test , not at home might I add… in Subway (if this is news to you make sure you head to my first pregnancy post further down the blog, its a truly riveting read) its common place to head to your GP (General practitioner Dr.) to confirm the pregnancy via blood test.
This is also an important step for woman who aren’t sure what to do once they find out they’re pregnant. Many woman don’t want to go through with having a baby, so the advice of the GP is completely invaluable here for offering different options. Not all women are healthy enough to carry a child and continuing with their pregnancy is detrimental to their health so this first GP visit does more than just confirm a positive result.
In my case, I wasn’t sure what decision I was going to make so I dragged Matt along with me and I had blood work done. I talked briefly with the Dr while Matt sat in the waiting room. We spoke about the options I had and how the pregnancy would affect my own health considering I had preexisting conditions. Matt brought these health issues up as reasons to not keep the baby so I really wanted to know what my Doctor thought about these issues. He told me we first had to do blood work to estimate how far along I was and make more informed decisions from there.
After only a day had gone by, I received the call from my doctor saying that I was indeed pregnant and my HCG levels indicated I was around 4 weeks pregnant. It all sounded right to me as I had taken the home test only a few days before my period was due and as far as I knew my period had been really regular as I was taking the pill. My Doctor suggested I make another appointment in a week to talk about the future and also have some more blood work done.
At this next appointment, my GP took my blood and informed me that the next step was to have a dating scan to confirm the pregnancy was viable and that an embryo was implanted into my uterus and not a tube and also accurately date how far along I was. The only problem was, that it was too early for the embryo to have a heartbeat so my Dr wanted to delay this dating scan till I was approximately 8 weeks along and there would be a working heart to measure. In the meantime he said would ring me to once the blood test had come back
So he sent me away with a date for the scan and asked me to come in again for a third lot of blood work just before that date to make sure that my HCG levels were rising correctly.
It was during this week that Matt and I came to our final decision of keeping the baby and continuing the pregnancy, which means it was also the week he was up in Auckland for his build up training for Canada.
I was alone when I got the call from my Dr saying that the rise in my HCG levels were unprecedented and he wanted me to come in straight away for the third lot of bloods. He explained it was unlikely they had made a mistake and that a rise of the HCG was usually an indication of an ectopic pregnancy or a multiple pregnancy.
I think the situation became beyond belief for me.
I could have shit myself, i’m not even sure what my reaction was.
I agreed to come in and again I had blood drawn. I was checked over by the GP and the nurse and because I wasn’t displaying any symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy (such as severe pain) my doctor sent me home and told me he’d ring me when the results came back.
I was in shock, and didn’t tell anyone about what had just happened. I went back to my flat as usual. Talked to Matt on the phone as usual. Went on placement as usual. I was in complete denial and decided it wasn’t worth telling anyone until I knew for sure. My mind was on Matt, I didn’t want to freak him out when he was in such a stressful time.
So I waited.
With Matt’s last day in the country in two days time, the call came.
My Doctor said my HCG levels were so high that it was indicating I was almost 10 weeks pregnant, which we knew was impossible. It was in his opinion I was carrying a multiple pregnancy, his words exactly “I don’t need a scan to prove it, this is a classic multiple pregnancy, most likely twins” He wanted me to still have the scan to check their viability and gestation, still at about 7/8 weeks along, so not for a few weeks.
I remember so clearly hanging up the phone with the biggest sense of dread. We had literally only JUST decided to keep the baby and now there was two?! I was absolutely gobsmacked and my way of dealing with it, was to keep it to myself.
I wanted to scream! To swear! WHY ME GOD!! WHY ME??
What the F*cking F*ck. What are the actual chance of this happening?
-Answer to that is 1 in 7, so though I thought it was quite rare, it turns out its more common than I ever thought.
I’m sure how excited this news would make some people, having two babies instead of one… Twice the blessing right? Well if you have read my story this far, you’ll get why this only made things even more problematic for me. I didn’t want this to be real, I knew how hard it would make things for me. How my life would be affected by the pregnancy so much more intensely than if there was only one.
I ventured up to Auckland to see Matt before he left, and of course if you’ve read the last post, you’ll know he ended up staying in New Zealand, so as were shared a night together in a gorgeous hotel room. I was feeling so happy to be with him, and so in love, but i was holding something back and he could tell (there is no hiding your true feelings in person unlike on the phone) So I finally plucked up the courage to tell him what I had been keeping from him for the past couple days. He was in utter shock too, but took it way better than i did?
His words I remember was that he felt so much better about not getting an abortion and that if we had of known that earlier his mind would have been different.
I’ve always wondered why he said that. What was the difference between one innocent life and two… I haven’t asked him for an answer to that, and I don’t think I need one because i know how more real it becomes. I can’t describe it for anyone who hasnt been in this position before. There is something about thinking that you are carrying two little lives that really brings it into place. For now I’m just happy we made the decision that we did. Which was to continue on the journey we were on.
I was so happy he’d be there when I had the scan, I was so thankful I’d have his support. Once again he said he would be there for me no matter what. I really felt at this point that things were all happening for a reason. And together we prepared to have the scan in the next week or so.